Honoring medical days

Yesterday I went for a CT scan.  Today I begin the travel to Montreal to see my oncologist Dr. Kavan at the Jewish General in Montreal.  I can remember, way back (well, not so way back) when I would pack as much as I could around the test/appointment time and day.  I can clearly remember taking my lap top with me on a test day in Kingston and sitting in the waiting room entering stock definitions into the pricing software for work.  I look back on that memory now and all I can see is a gross mix-up in priorities.  I have changed my thinking since then.  Medical dates are important, I have always thought that.  But how to conduct myself around that date is also important.  It's a stressful time and even though I have become comfortable, used to and usually good at handling these days I recognize that there is a lot going on in my mind and body.  There is physical requirements of the test, such as taking the contrast dye, being hit with radiation from the machine, and the traveling.  And there is lots going on with my emotions and adrenaline.  Now I give myself a break on test days.  I make it a special day, to me it's respecting and honoring myself.  This is hard to put into words.  I guess if I were saying it in words out loud to myself it would go something like this...."today is an important day, you are going for a Ct scan.  Naturally you are going to be feeling anxious about the results of the test, wondering if the scan will confirm good or bad news.  I know the test makes you feel nauseous and upsets your digestive system, that afterwards you have a hard time not binge eating on treats.  To today I am giving you permission, not just permission but an order, to take it slow, do some things you enjoy today and don't think about anything other than being gentle with yourself". 

So today, instead of squeezing in an hour of work before I left I took that extra hour I had in Belleville to do some things I had been wanting to do, like go to TSC and try on overalls to find ones that fit me (gift from Mike from Christmas), have a wee visit with my sister (always fun), then I headed to Kingston and arrived early.  I parked down by the water and walked back to the hospital, poking my head into a couple of interesting shops along the way.  I went in for my test, got my magic drink (the contrast dye) and then went back to Princess street for a bit more exploring.  I returned to the hospital for my test time, chatted and smiled with the other patients and nurses.  After the test I met with my parents and we had dinner together.   Then I bought a coffee and 2 deserts (the after test binge eating that I still do on occasion, I have no idea why, but I do) and drove home listening to some great tunes on the radio.  Test day - a day to be enjoyed.  A gift from me to me.

I was looking for cartoons about waiting rooms and came across this one...it makes me laugh!  All the medical tests and strange body things start to seem normal on a cancer journey and this cartoon seemed to capture the essence of it.  Besides, it's really funny and you gotta laugh at yourself sometimes.  After abdominal surgery I always seem to spend a lot of time focusing on poo :)