Growing with cancer...the good changes.

Having cancer has done good in my life, much good.  I thought it was time to share some of this with you.  This will just be a snippet as life is so rich, so full of goodness, that I could never do it justice in one post.  But today this was on my mind.

There was a time when my life was at a pretty low point.  I am going to share a never before seen picture with you.  This was me, in January 2007, on holidays.  I am smiling but there was a lot of unhappy feelings locked inside me at that time.

Jan 2007, Low Point

 My body was unhealthy, as you can see I was overweight, I didn't exercise or eat well.  In fact I can remember eating chocolate bars daily.  It was stress eating.  It shocks me now to look at this picture.  My relationships with my husband and family were unhealthy as well.  My priorities were unhealthy.  I gave my time and energy to work, driven by my worry of our business not being successful, driven by a need to be all things to all people.  I lost focus on my faith or what my relationship with God meant to me.  I was troubled inside, eaten up by anxiety all the time, anxiety about what was not well in my life, but unable to change it.  I was at risk of losing the things that mattered most to me.

Then along came cancer back in my life.  The 2003 surgery was far from my mind, a situation I thought was taken care of and in the past.  But when I came home from this holiday there was a phone call waiting for me.  Kingston Cancer clinic calling to say I needed to come see the doctor.  My scans revealed more tumors.  You can check my previous blog for the details of this.  This was the wake up call.

After surgery my first change we my physical self.  I started exercising regularly and eating well.  The weight came off, the muscle built and I felt physically strong.  My husband and I had some very real, honest conversations and realized we could choose to be together or lose each other.  Once you are threatened with losing something (my life in this case) you quickly see what really matters.  We choose us.  It is the greatest thing in my life, "us".  All other changes took more time, and more cancer to be honest.  I was a hard case to crack.  God had to hit me on the head many times to get through to me but I am blessed for it.  He had to add a lot of heat to the fire to mold the clay of my life.

Today I am grateful for the many blessings and richness my life has become.  I have done things that are the example I want my kids to see.  This is my legacy.  I have reconnected with my faith.  My husband is the best thing in my life.  I appreciate and spend time with my family.  I have impacted the lives of others in a positive way.  I live life big, really big.  I love life.  Here is a pic taken last year when I achieved a goal, running a 10k race.  It was a goal I had set in 2010 but the chemotherapy made me wait a while.  It was something I wanted to prove to myself and it was also for a great cause, supporting Kids with Cancer.

At the finish of the 10km Run for Kids with Cancer marathon May 2010.

The experience of having cancer, as strange as this will sound, has been a tool in my life that has brought me to a very good place.  I am eternally grateful to the many wonderful people who have been a part of my journey; they taught me, they helped me, showed me, led me, cared for me.  Life is a beautiful thing.