This less than perfect feeling is probably brought on by my latest bought of what I call sticky gut. That is not a medical term the doctor’s use, but they don’t disagree with me when I use it. Basically the multiple surgeries have left a lot of scar tissue in my gut – the doctors say its strands of stickiness that web all over my abdomen. Your digestive system is always moving around and with the sticky scar tissue this can cause partial blockages. Things just get stuck in the wrong place. And there seems to be only two ways to get things in my gut right again. Either is moves back on its own or there is a major surgery. We all agree I should avoid more surgery at this time so it’s up to my body to do the work of fixing. While things are stuck, it hurts, sometimes a lot. My guts say no to food, anything in there has to come up (vomiting) and of course no new food and often not even much to drink. Wears a person out. Osteopath massage helps and I am blessed to have someone close by who helps with house calls. It’s a matter of time and resting. Sticky gut can happen at any time and I have not found much of a pattern to it. I have been blessed to not have much of it lately but it struck Tuesday. Mid-morning I was thinking oh, stomach pains, I must be extra hungry. Part way through my lunch I realized oh no, this is not hunger pains. By afternoon I was vomiting and hurting a lot. Wednesday found me a ‘flat stanley’ as I call it…no energy, flat on the couch, drinking only little bits, hurting still. Thursday morning I thought I was better and went to a meeting with the most wonderful group of people, The Probus Club of Quinte, but still very weak and by afternoon hurting again. Friday morning I woke up to find my guts felt right again. Food in, water in, I’m moving around again. But it slows you down. This is Saturday morning now and I am still not back up to full steam.
This morning I find myself seeing so many projects around me that I am not getting done. Things I started, things I want to finish, but I don’t see where the time is to do them. A book to finish. Pig and chicken farming notes to write and file. Family bills to reconcile and file. Dog hair sits in large tumbleweeds all over the place. Seeds I was saving from the garden to store. Herbs I dried that still are in the paper bags. Horse stalls are dirty. Winter mitts not out. Folded laundry sitting all over not put away. Chicken pen not winterized. I am much less than beautiful. Less than able to handle all life is. It’s not a lack of gratitude. It’s a lack of ability I feel. So what do I do with this feeling? I have to go now; there is a schedule to be kept. I am promising myself not to edit this part, which I will leave it as is and add on later.
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| Gift from my husband (it was not our Anniversary). Awesome! |
Sometimes we can do that for someone…if we really mean it and we can follow through on listening, really listening…we can ask, “How are you doing?” We probably ask this a hundred times a month but maybe every once in a while we can ask it, really want to hear the answer and change someone’s day.
